


Secrets Worth Keeping

by MassiveSpaceWren



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Don’t copy to another site, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Secrets, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 05:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18067355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MassiveSpaceWren/pseuds/MassiveSpaceWren
Summary: When Zemo tries to break the Avengers apart, things take a different turn.~~~Kind of a fix-it for CACW.(Might read as not Steve friendly.)





	Secrets Worth Keeping

**Author's Note:**

> When I wrote this, I mostly had feelings about CACW. I didn't quite mean to make it sound not Steve friendly. Some friends said it does, some said it doesn't. You can decide for yourselves :D

They startled when the video started playing.

Zemo grinned slightly, but didn't try to run when Steve and the others turned their attention to the screen.

"I know that road..." Tony's voice was cracking.

That video... it couldn't be. He specifically kept this to himself to spare Tony.

Steve watched as Tony's eyes stayed glued to the screen, watched him tremble.

Behind him, Bucky was shaking, lowering the rifle, and trying to keep his face in check. It was still obvious how much this affected him, too.

For a moment, Tony's eyes strayed to glance at Bucky, before settling on the screen again. The pain was clearly visible on his face. He flinched back when the Winter Soldier's fist connected with Howard's face on the screen. A second later, Maria Stark was calling for her husband and Tony closed his eyes for a heartbeat, swaying, but unable to keep his eyes off what the video was showing him.

This was it, the end. It would all fall apart now. Steve's insides went cold with dread. Everything he had done to prevent this, it was all for nothing. Life as he had come to know it would be over now. The compound would not be a welcoming home anymore. Who was he kidding, even if _he’d_ be welcome, Bucky wouldn’t be. He tried to do what he could to keep Tony from finding out, to keep Bucky safe. 

Steve tried to suck in a breath, but felt his throat constricting. With the last precious seconds before it all was in the open passing by, Steve mourned everything he’d lose now, everything they all would lose.  
When the video ended, Tony started towards Bucky, and Steve's hand on his arm was the only thing stopping him. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve could see how Bucky flinched at the sudden movement. No matter what, Steve had to keep Bucky safe. 

Tony turned back towards him, searching Steve's eyes. "Did you know?" he grit out.

"I didn't know it was him." Steve had to salvage this somehow.

"Don't bullshit me, Rogers. Did you _know_?" Steve had never heard Tony sound so desolate.

Steve had to take a breath before answering. "Yes."

Tony ripped his arm free, a look of utter betrayal on his face. He looked away, and Steve hoped he could somehow keep Tony calm enough to get through this.

He saw Tony's face shift a moment too late. Tony spun towards him and struck him down with a gauntleted hand.

Steve went down hard, hitting the floor a few feet away. The pain was intense, but not important at the moment. Tony would go after Bucky. He'd blame Bucky for things Hydra did, that weren't Bucky's fault. Steve needed to keep Bucky safe, needed to stop Tony. With what he just saw, Tony wouldn't stop. He'd hunt Bucky down, would hurt him and probably even kill him. Angry and hurt like this, he would never give up or stand down. Still reeling from the force of the punch, Steve jumped up again. 

"Bucky! Get to safety, get out! He won't stop!" 

Steve was ready to spring into action, when the scene before him startled him to a stop.  
Tony was sitting on the floor, curled in on himself, his legs pulled up and his face hidden in his arms. He was shaking, sobbing silently.

Steve stared. He'd never seen Tony so broken before. Even at his worst, Tony was ready to fight. Slowly, Steve moved closer, still trying to position himself between the other two.

Bucky had lowered his rifle, but not set it down. He stood way too close to Tony for Steve's liking. Should Tony attack, Steve might not be fast enough to intervene. At least Bucky seemed reluctant to come closer.

"Steve... I'll go after Zemo. You..." Bucky swallowed thickly. "You should stay here with him."

Steve nodded, looking at Bucky to check if he was going to be okay alone.

Tony's hand shot forward, grabbing Bucky's ankle.

Steve had his shield raised, ready to attack, when Bucky motioned for him to wait. Tony wasn't moving any more.

His whisper was barely audible. "No. Stay. Rogers, you can go."

Steve inhaled sharply, trying to assess the situation. He didn't want to leave Bucky behind, but they needed to catch Zemo, too.

"Steve, just _go_ ," Bucky urged him. "You can't let him get away. And it makes sense. If he still has the trigger words, you should confront him, not me." The look in Bucky's eyes was sad but accepting. His whole stance radiated concern, though.

Steve nodded, vowing to get this done as quickly as possible. He didn’t want to leave them alone long enough to give Tony a chance to do something he’d regret.

"Take care of yourself," he said, before he went after Zemo.

Bucky snorted quietly. When Steve was looking back one last time before leaving the room, Bucky had gone down to one knee, carefully still not touching Tony.

 

####

 

Bucky watched Steve go and knelt down next to Tony. 'Take care of yourself', he'd said, as if it was Bucky who needed help right now.

Tony was in pain, and all he wanted was to soothe him, but he wasn't sure he was allowed to touch him anymore, not with what Tony just saw. He didn't understand how Tony still wanted him near. Maybe he wanted to take revenge on Bucky after all, and needed Steve away for that.

"Whatever I can do to help, I'll do it," he whispered.

Tony's sharp intake of breath startled him, a harsh sound in the silent room.

"Even if I asked you to go away forever?" Tony's voice was rough, but surer than it had been before.

"Yes, of course. I wouldn't like it, but if it's what you need, I'd do it," Bucky answered, serious.

Tony sobbed. "No, shit, Bucky, please stay. Don't leave me alone with this right now."

Bucky swallowed, and whispered "Can I... Can I touch you?"

Tony's hands were gripping him a moment later, pulling him close. Bucky sunk into the embrace, cradling Tony's head, like he had before, so many times, hidden away in Bucky's tiny apartment in Bucharest.

Bucky knew nothing he could say to make it better, so he just held Tony close, letting him cry.

"I'll be fine. Perfectly fine. In just a second," Tony whispered, sounding wrecked. "It's not new information, you already told me what happened, just... seeing it... hearing them... that is something else."

Bucky choked out a sob. "I know." Even his own memory was hazy enough that being reminded like this was excruciating, he could only vaguely guess how bad it must have been for Tony.

Shaking, Tony clung to him and he was willing to give any little shred of support he could, in this situation. After a while, the trembling died down to a shiver accompanying Tony's heavy breaths.

"I'm sorry," Tony whispered into Bucky's neck.

"Nothin' here you need to apologize for." Bucky was running a hand through Tony's hair, trying to soothe him.

"No, I-" Tony swallowed audibly. "I didn't believe it wasn't you in Vienna. When you had told me about the trigger words, about your worry that they'll catch you again... I thought they had found you, thought they made you do it. I was trying to protect you as well as I could, I swear. In an american psych center, you'd have been safe, and I could have gotten you out again, somehow." Tony was clinging to him tighter now, his gauntlet leaving a bruise on Bucky's arm, not that Bucky cared. All that mattered was that Tony was here with him.

"You couldn't have known, Tony. They... Zemo did find me." Bucky tried to make his voice soft, even though just thinking about it made him want to retch.

Tony looked up and caught Bucky's face in his hands. "In Berlin, I tried to stop you, and... you didn't even recognize me." His voice broke at the last few words.

Bucky let his forehead rest against Tony's and closed his eyes. The memory of what happened after Zemo took control was still hazy, but he could remember Tony coming to stop him from hurting people. Bucky was grateful for that, he had already enough blood on his hands, but the thought that instead, he could have hurt Tony, or killed him... Bucky could barely breathe, imagining it.

Bucky took a breath and let it out slowly to try to stay calm. "Are you... Did I hurt you?" he whispered. He had to know. Bucky had been so relieved when he had seen Tony at the airport in Leipzig that his knees had been unsteady. Seeing him standing upright, alive had already been a relief. But with the threat of the other Winter Soldiers, there hadn't been any time to explain or actually check on Tony. Now, Tony had come here, to help, to fight, so Bucky had assumed that he was at least well enough to do that. 

"I'm fine-" Tony started, only to stop abruptly. He chuckled humorlessly. "No, I'm not really fine. Fighting you wasn't a smart plan, but it was the only plan. I don't blame you for what he made you do. The last few days took a lot out of me, but I will recover, eventually." Tony looked Bucky up and down. "What about you, are you okay?"

"Physically, yes. Mentally..." Bucky shrugged. "That will take a while."

Tony nodded and took one gauntlet off to clasp Bucky's flesh hand with his own and squeeze tightly.

“Tony… Thank you. For stopping me,” Bucky squeezed his eyes shut. “I- I have enough blood on my hands, if I had murdered innocent people again, I don’t know what I would do-”

“Shh,” Tony interrupted him. “It is all right. I will watch out for you. I promised that, remember?”

Bucky felt a tear run down his cheek before wiping it off quickly. He nodded.

Tony leaned in slowly and ran a gauntleted hand over his cheek carefully. Eyes fluttering closed at the light touch, Bucky breathed calmly again. When he opened his eyes, Tony was looking at him with a sad smile, his eyes still red from crying.

“I’m not sure what will come next, but we’ll get through it together, right? You’ll still be with me?” Tony sounded afraid of the answer.

Bucky pressed a chaste kiss to Tony’s lips, before pulling back a little and leaning their foreheads together. “Yes. I don’t know where I will go after all this, with the UN still after me I can’t exactly go home with you... but you will always have me.”

Tony swallowed heavily and gave a small nod.

Holding each other close, they leaned on each other for a while. Their breathing slowed again, and Bucky would swear even he could feel the pain in both of them ease slowly.

 

####

 

Steve had found Zemo, and, to his surprise, also T’Challa outside the compound.

They stared at each other for a moment, but it was easy to see that T’Challa would not try to attack him again.

After securing Zemo with T‘Challa, Steve hurried back into the compound, dreading what he might find.

Would Tony have finally snapped and attacked Bucky? While he didn‘t want them to fight, he hoped Bucky would at least have defended himself.

Steve ran back through the tunnels, slowing to a quick walk when he was nearing the hall he left them in. His stomach was in knots and he wanted to get there as fast as possible, wanted to get his shield ready to defend Bucky if it was necessary, but he also knew that sprinting into the room while looking ready to attack might upset whatever brittle balance there had been when he had left.

When he rounded the corner, he was prepared for anything, every terrible vision his mind could come up with.

He was not prepared for the mundane view of Bucky standing up while Tony was still sitting on the floor. There was no blood, no broken bones, nothing.

Bucky turned to look at Steve for a moment, then offered Tony a hand to help him up. To Steve‘s surprise, Tony took the hand and shakily got to his feet. With how warm and friendly Tony‘s expression was, Steve came closer, only to be stopped by the ice cold look Tony shot him.

“Rogers,“ Tony said, a lifeless version of a greeting.

“Tony… I‘m glad you are okay-“ The glare Tony leveled him with made him stop short.

A moment later, Tony took a deep breath and seemed to calm down. “Zemo? Did you catch him?”

“Yes. He‘s with T‘Challa. He followed us here. He… he‘s offered to take us to Wakanda, Buck. Where the UN can‘t get to us.“ Steve wasn‘t sure if he made the right call by mentioning it in front of Tony, but he hoped he could still trust him with this.

Bucky looked at Steve and then at Tony, obviously thinking it through.

“The UN will probably lock you up if you go back now. For all I know, they might even lock _me_ up, after coming here,” Tony said, trying to keep the tone light. “I have to go back, though, the sooner the better. Who knows what they’ll do without someone looking out for our interests.”

Steve started breathing again. He hadn’t realized he’d held his breath, waiting for Tony’s reaction. This sounded promising… maybe Tony would look out for everyone, still. Steve had hoped he’d told the truth about ratifying the Accords, but there was no option to follow them with the threat to Bucky’s life.

Still staring at Tony, Bucky nodded slowly.

They made their way outside into the cold. T’Challa was waiting on his aircraft, with their prisoner. With the wind blowing snow into their faces, Steve was surprised to see that Tony still hadn’t put his helmet on again.

“Take the quinjet,” Tony mumbled, nodding along. “It’s not like I could explain how I got it back without being asked some questions myself.”

Steve wanted to say something, to apologize, but wasn’t sure what to lead with.

“We’ll talk some other time,” Tony said, looking at Steve, nipping every attempt at conversation in its bud.

Steve just nodded, and got onto the quinjet to start the take-off sequence. He glanced back after a moment. Why was Bucky still lingering outside?

When the jet was ready to start, Bucky let himself fall into the chair next to Steve.

Not looking at him, Steve started the engines. “Buck… What the hell happened between you and Tony?”

When no answer came, Steve looked over. Bucky was staring up at the sky, where the glow of Iron Man‘s repulsors was disappearing into the clouds.

“Some secrets are not worth keeping. This one _is_ , though.”

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say, I really wanted them to NOT fight after the video :D
> 
> Constructive criticism about the writing is welcome, but just hate or character bashing is not.  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
